A NICU baby

I had to leave her side, but I really didn’t want to. The nurse saw it on my face, she said “do you want to hold her”? Of course I wanted to… she picked her up careful not to tangle or pull on the leads and the iv, and she said “she has been off the oxygen and doing well on her own for a little while now”. I was already intimidated by the wires and the iv, now I knew she was on oxygen… what is wrong with her? Will she be okay? How long will she have to be down here? A flood of worry slowly started to drown me. The nurse said she appeared to be stunned from making the transition from the womb to the world. I had nine months to think about the moment the transition would happen, but to push away fear, I joked I would stay in the womb as long as possible to avoid being smacked in the face by a Maine January. In this moment, I was all out of jokes, fear and worry won.

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Cute.

I often hear people say “their baby is the cutest”. Well, all I can say to that is, they aren’t wrong. The reality of it is, we are so blinded by love! In what other scenario (besides with maybe a puppy) is someone farting the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?

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Priority shift

If you had to write your priorities in order of most important to least important, what would it look like? I’m sure like most, mine are family, friends, health, and so on, but after the seemingly obvious, come the unique individual… some where at the top of my list, which is ever changing, Is my truck. Silly right? Materialistic… maybe? overkill? Absolutely. As a homeowner, a dog owner, an outdoor enthusiast, and a Mainer, I’ve always wanted a truck. After my divorce, I decided at some point if and when it made sense I would buy one.

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Labor and delivery

For weeks I had been complaining about achy joints, tired skin, lack of energy, and overall just over it feeling… everyone said this part is normal, but what I couldn’t express is how physically over it my body felt. Mentally I had been over it all for a couple months! Everything at home was done enough now, work days were dwindling down, I even worked an extra week longer to keep my sanity, and the holiday rush was over. I had nothing to do, but wait.

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