I had to leave her side, but I really didn’t want to. The nurse saw it on my face, she said “do you want to hold her”? Of course I wanted to… she picked her up careful not to tangle or pull on the leads and the iv, and she said “she has been off the oxygen and doing well on her own for a little while now”. I was already intimidated by the wires and the iv, now I knew she was on oxygen… what is wrong with her? Will she be okay? How long will she have to be down here? A flood of worry slowly started to drown me. The nurse said she appeared to be stunned from making the transition from the womb to the world. I had nine months to think about the moment the transition would happen, but to push away fear, I joked I would stay in the womb as long as possible to avoid being smacked in the face by a Maine January. In this moment, I was all out of jokes, fear and worry won.
