These words have been stuck in my head for a month now. I went to my 6 week postpartum visit and my Dr. asked how I was doing mentally since delivery. What a loaded question… most of us aren’t right before delivery!
I told her I was doing really well with everything and I wanted to return to work. She asked if I was sure it wouldn’t be too much too soon… I said “what do you mean”? She said “well, you have been given the responsibility of keeping another human being alive, on top of all your other responsibilities, and now you want to add work back in”. I said I hadn’t thought about it that way, I figured it was more like ripping a bandaid off. If it’s going to hurt in ten weeks, it’s going to hurt in six weeks, why go another month without pay?! She said well if you feel that way, you’re doing just fine! She asked what I thought of charleigh… I said she’s the most amazing thing in the world to me, she’s just perfect. Thats when she said it. She said “isn’t it amazing”? “That’s the thing, they are born absolutely perfect and everybody worries about how to make them better their whole life, but really all we can do is make them worse”. I’ve thought about these words every day since that appointment because it’s the sad truth. Babies are born to survive and thrive, innocent, naive, and trusting. Little by little, experience by experience, each of those is slowly undone. For once, I don’t want somebody to be better, I want them to stay the same. In such a crazy world , how do we preserve things as they are meant to be…